digression pt2 sorry

So I got a phone call tonight from Demelza hospice.
The place where my son went after he had passed.
I was asked if I would like to join a group on Facebook to do with the loss of a child...
Willingly I accepted. Man if I’d have known I was going to see a family I met at Ronald McDonald house, I still would have accepted but I would’ve taken time to prepare myself for the fact that this would hit me like a tonne of bricks.
In the coming future of my story this family will make their debut. Only by joining that Facebook group, I found out their son didn't make it. 
This has hit me hard, we are approximately a half an hour drive away from each other, furthermore, we shared the same residence at Ronald McDonald and their son was one room over from mine.
Please take a moment of silence for them.

The hard parts are who do you tell this information to? Who will listen? Should I keep my thoughts to myself? 
Also I don't know what I'm really feeling; how do I even articulate all of these emotions?

The lady at Demelza spoke to me after and this was a big help, although I still don't quite know how to feel.

Any way 23wks +0... still to come... stay tuned

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 11, 2021 at 3:26 AM

    Hey, I am still following your blog. You doing fantastic job of writing, and I am glad you can open up in any way shape or form of how you feeling. #keeptalking. Or writing 👍 xx

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5th August: pink turtle, smiles and Tattoos.

Image
5th August: Things were getting ontop of us by now, the stress and anxiety had reached an uncomfortable level. Still fighting olivers battle, but by now we were fighting our own battles. Exhaustion, depression and fear where an everyday occurance. I remember Frances texting me on this day, saying she just needed to be alone. She said she wasn't OK and she was worried about Oliver. She decided to take herself out for a drive to clear her head, and if that's what she needed to do then that's what she needed to do. Her mum asked her to come home and talk about it, I even asked her to talk about it, but she wanted to be alone. As hard as that was to deal with because we all wanted to be there to help her, it was just something you have to go through, Lord knows I have since needed some time on my own. Further on in the day tho we got a picture of olivers belly, it looked so much better. At the time we knew we Still had a long time to wait for it to be fully healed, and to get h
Read more

17th August: The day before

Image
17th August: The day before. After an exhausting and emotionally draining weekend, with highs of family visiting and lows of knowing why they where there, myself and Frances where completely drained.  This was going to be our final full day with Oliver and we knew it, but most of all we felt it. The struggle to find any sence of happiness was overwhelmed by the sadness of knowing that tomorrow we will be saying goodbye to our son.  Making our way into the hospital together was undescribable. For us this was out of the ordinary, not so unordinary for couples outside of covid, but we had never been able to see Oliver together unless it was bad news. Although the situation was an averwhelmingly sad situation, for us this was the first time together we got to spend the whole day with our son and that was special to us. We had a professional photographer come and take some lovely photos of us, and as nice as this was I couldn't help but think soon this is all we will have, j
Read more