Digression pt6 (paternity leave)

It's digression time again:

This digression is very close to my heart and something I’m rather passionate about. Paternity leave for many fathers out there is only two weeks and that is nothing short of a joke. For fathers experiencing the cruel reality of NICU, 2 weeks might as well be 2 minutes.


Going back to one of my previous blog posts, I believe it to be when Oliver was taken to Brighton, I touched briefly on paternity leave and when to take it. During Oliver’s first few weeks, I had thought about taking it straight away but I was in mixed minds. So many people had said to me, “why not take it when he is home?”. As I explained to them, and as I am explaining to you now, I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be coming home. I did hold off taking it and waited up until the point he got taken to Brighton. 

Convinced he wasn’t going to make it, I thought if I was to take it now, at least I would have got to spend as much time with him when it was needed. As you all know, Oliver did make it through his surgeries. 


As much as I was happy to be having two weeks off with Oliver, it wasn’t two whole weeks of celebrating and enjoying parenthood. It was two whole weeks of operations and being told he might die. So, you can probably see why I might feel slightly bitter about only having two weeks.

Further into Oliver’s story, I will go into this a little more as there is slightly more to add with regards to paternity. I found it a struggle going back into work after taking my paternity leave. Torn between work and taking days off just to be able to get to the hospital, I found myself in a very difficult position. My annual leave was drifting away, covid-19 was prominent and lockdown rules and regulations getting more and more intense. Above everything else, I was so scared to be going into work; I didn’t want to catch the virus and pass it onto Oliver. Additionally, I didn’t want to pass it onto the nurses and the other babies.

I feel my work at the time was very supportive, but something was not sitting right with me. I asked to be put onto furlough but was told I couldn’t. In fact, the response offered to me was, "There is nothing I can do; it’s your choice if you go to the hospital or not". This reply was from my Manager. And yea, although it is a true statement, it was one said without compassion or thought to how I would feel. Of course I was going to choose to visit my son in hospital.

Unsatisfied with this response, I contacted the CEO of my company... this is what I will get back to you about.

Now I do believe that in 2023, there will be an introduction of ‘neonatal leave’. This will grant fathers an extra 12 weeks leave with paternity style pay for fathers with children in hospital. But please research this as I might be slightly out of date with this information.

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