digression

A minor digression from the main story for the time being.
It's been rather hard thinking about the past and I haven't even got into the main part.
It's a rollercoaster of emotions delving into one's own thoughts and feelings. And thus far, I'm unsure if this is where I need to be heading.
I must admit that although it's been distressing looking back at everything, I can with certainty say I am going to finish.
It may take a month, or it may take many months, but it will get done.

It's hard to say how I feel at this particular moment 😕
I'm happy I have got my daughter and I have got my family.
I'm still most certainly grieving, but that's normal and I don't expect it to stop anytime soon, and i dont think I want to just yet.

Anyway, please stick with my story, and as always I will be honest about how I felt and still feel.

On a positive note, I know my proof-reading friend will be happy that I used the word digression correctly, and she will probably laugh a little while she sorts this mess of ill typed literature out for me... You lot only get the finalised copy after she has sorted it. 

Also, if any one has any questions regarding my blog please email me at Ethan-ryan@live.co.uk

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

digression pt2 sorry

So I got a phone call tonight from Demelza hospice. The place where my son went after he had passed. I was asked if I would like to join a group on Facebook to do with the loss of a child... Willingly I accepted. Man if I’d have known I was going to see a family I met at Ronald McDonald house, I still would have accepted but I would’ve taken time to prepare myself for the fact that this would hit me like a tonne of bricks. In the coming future of my story this family will make their debut. Only by joining that Facebook group, I found out their son didn't make it.  This has hit me hard, we are approximately a half an hour drive away from each other, furthermore, we shared the same residence at Ronald McDonald and their son was one room over from mine. Please take a moment of silence for them. The hard parts are who do you tell this information to? Who will listen? Should I keep my thoughts to myself?  Also I don't know what I'm really feeling; how do I even articulate all of
Read more

5th August: pink turtle, smiles and Tattoos.

Image
5th August: Things were getting ontop of us by now, the stress and anxiety had reached an uncomfortable level. Still fighting olivers battle, but by now we were fighting our own battles. Exhaustion, depression and fear where an everyday occurance. I remember Frances texting me on this day, saying she just needed to be alone. She said she wasn't OK and she was worried about Oliver. She decided to take herself out for a drive to clear her head, and if that's what she needed to do then that's what she needed to do. Her mum asked her to come home and talk about it, I even asked her to talk about it, but she wanted to be alone. As hard as that was to deal with because we all wanted to be there to help her, it was just something you have to go through, Lord knows I have since needed some time on my own. Further on in the day tho we got a picture of olivers belly, it looked so much better. At the time we knew we Still had a long time to wait for it to be fully healed, and to get h
Read more

Arriving home and the next few days.

Image
18th August: Going home. Where to start, we'll driving home after saying goodbye to Oliver there was just this sence of numbness. There was this cloud of negativity hovering over us all, its as if we wanted to talk about what just happened, but we also didn't.  Emotions where very high to say the least, I remember just updating my Facebook post to let everyone who had been such a support network to me know the sad news. I guess this was my way of proccesing it, throughout Oliver being alive I always updated Facebook to keep people posted, so thats what I done. The first moments home just didn't feel completely right. We got through the door and took up our suit cases, and then just looked at eachother. Nothing was said, but I gave Frances a big cuddle and then we went downstairs. I belive I had something strong to drink just to ease myself, Frances just sat on her phone, probably to just take her mind of everything that had just happened.  The whole day was just trying to f
Read more