Learning the lingo

Walking in to the nicu ward on the 29th it was only one day after my first visit. Frances agreed that I could go back in due to my work commitments; I was working for the next few days so wouldn’t be able to see him for a while. Frances would then do the days I was at work and this just seemed to work for us.
 
It still torments me to this day that we couldn't go together but we were powerless. 

Walking in through the hospital this day felt different; it felt good and I felt a sense of positivity. We had received no phone calls or had any information to make us feel otherwise. So, as I scrubbed up, went back into the room and pulled off the blanket covering his incubator, I saw instantly that his skin looked less red and angry looking. It had taken a pinker tone. This only helped to raise my positivity. 

It was at this stage things began to take place and I began to learn the lingo and language of the nicu. I was informed his haemoglobin levels as well as his glucose levels were up and down. This utterly shattered my sense of positivity, especially when the nurse approached me and said "we need to do a blood transfusion on Oliver today".
As a new parent to the nicu scene, I was terrified; I knew what a blood transfusion was, but haemoglobin levels etc, I was in unexplored territory. Hearing this information alone made it even harder to wrap my mind around what was happening. I asked all the relevant questions and was assured it was common practice in such early babies. Although this calmed me a little, I still couldn't help but panic inside. 

My little boy was laying there so fragile and helpless, and knowing I just couldn't do anything to help is still something I still struggle with today. And it only gets worse as we move through Oliver's story. Anyway, the next day his mum went to visit and the blood transfusion had been successful. His haemoglobin levels and glucose levels were where they needed to be, and on the 30th March all seemed alright… no news is good news. 

I visited again on the 31st March and so much had changed in such a short space of time. Again, his skin looked better and his eyes, although still fused shut, had the look and the shape of an actual eye. 

One of the memories that sticks in my mind, and I can still feel vividly, is when I put my little finger into the incubator just to get the slightest of touches. As I put my finger into the palm of his hand, Oliver took a strong firm grip around the tip of my little finger. And as shocked as I was with the little strength he had, I couldn't pass up a photo opportunity. (ADVICE: TAKE AS MANY PHOTOS AS YOU CAN, YOU WONT REGRET IT!) 

The next few days and visits went well, there were no concerns to be handed over and the positivity continued to grow. We had reached a small but mighty milestone as he made the 24wk mark. Next... I see you dad / what the fuck is happening!?





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