Digression (1st Birthday)

This is going to be a hard one to write; it's Olivers 1st birthday tomorrow. Knowing I have started this blog has helped me in so many ways. Firstly, because i like to talk about my son, and secondly, I have found this a good way to remember him and get it all out. 

Tomorrow is going to be hard for many reasons, as I’m sure you can all imagine. The plan is for myself and Fran, also not forgeting my little Rose-bud, to meet at our local park. Rose has written Oliver a letter she wants to send to him in heaven, saying how she misses him and how she is looking after her dad. She’s also telling him how she’s getting on at school, aswell as what she’s been doing otherwise; such as kickboxing and gymnastics.

If life was fair, Oliver would have been with us on this day, but life isnt fair; it doesn’t owe anything to anyone. I could feel sad and shut out the world, but what would that achieve? For Oliver’s birthday we have set up Oliver's Hampers; something to donate to medway hospital (nicu) for the babies, staff, and families.

This has given me great pleasure to do this on Oliver's behalf and has meant the world to me. If he were here, we would have all bought him gifts, but with him not here I can still feel like I’m doing something for him.

I can’t begin to tell you all how much I want him here, to have him in my arms, to watch him smile, he would probably be beginning to walk now. The time I did have though, I didnt take for granted. It brings me peace to know I was with him as much as I could be. I got to do things some parents dont get to do; I’m lucky to have been given that time.

I don’t want to give away too much because it will spoil future posts. But what I will say is for all the negative and down days we had, there were many good days to come.

I can look back on this last year with my head held high and knowing I got the privilege of seeing and meeting my son. 

I’m kind of lost for words; and I’m not realy sure what to say. I don’t want this to be a sad post as a birthday is a celebration of life. What I would ask is for any one who reads this, even if it be a few people, just take a few minuts for Oliver and reflect on what you have. 

I’m going to leave it here; as again I just don’t know what to say. 

I do want to say a quick thank you to all the people who have supported me and Fran through this time... without you things would have been a lot tougher. Also a massive thank you to everyone that has donated to Oliver's hampers. 

Next is a good post :)

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