overnight infections and dad cuddles.

17th June: Over the night it seems Oliver went slightly down hill, high indicators show another infection. When I say another infection, I mean he was always having them. I don't always put them in the blogs as it would get tedious, but most weeks he had one. Also by infection, i have played it down, it was sepsis. 

Due to this he was placed back onto the high frequency ventilator.  

They also decided due to his weight and the concerns he was on the smaller side, they would skip the recycling and get him strait into the stoma reversal surgery in about 2 weeks.

Happy this was going to happen so that we could move forward, but again filled with worry as it was another surgery. My boy who had gone through so much, just had to get through this one and then we was out of the worst of it. Just getting this done and knowing we can get him home was the only thing that kept me sane. 

It was also said to me that he needed to reach 2kg in total, so they felt safe doing the oppreation, hence the gastro team. To be honest he wasn't to far of that weight, but was 2-3 weeks enough for him to put it on.

They offered some supplement, but this had to be balanced as what was in the supplement can be damaging for his liver.

They also found where the infection was comming from. The infection was growing from his chest area, this explains why he had to be put on the high frequency ventilator, as the infection caused gunk on his lungs and effected his breathing. Still only on 21% oxygen tho so this was good.

Also there is a digression I need to go into, due to my emotions regarding another baby on the ward this day. This will tie in with another baby on the 18th aswell, so I'm just going to do a digression on both and as a whole.

Even tho all this was happening, he was clean and relaxed in his little vest. 

18th June: Oliver was doing slightly better today, there was no more high frequency ventilator as he had made such an improvement. 

A heart scan was done, but due to oliver laying accward, they couldn't get any good results. They did want to move him, but due to him just having his cares and him being settled, they left him.

As above in bold, I spoke to one of the dad on the ward, this will come up in the digression. Might be a trigger, so a warning sign ⚠️ will be placed on the title.

Oliver was now having medication to help his poo get thicker, this was to help his bowel get ready for surgery.

6ml of milk per hour was recommended to start of with.

I stayed till late this day and I was there for ages, but I done all his cares and left him so peaceful.

It's hard when you're in the zone, you want to stay, but there is physically no more you can do. As soon as you leave you feel guilty, but you know you can't be there 24hrs a day, it's a hard thing to process.

19th June:  

He is gone down to 4ml now and they hope to do a blood transfusion at some point today. He’s blood gases weren’t good but they are going to give him his first vaccination. By now I think the poor sod was used to being moved, poked and prodded. Still the first lot of vaccinations meant we were moving in the right direction. Still he was happy for the most part, well it was more likely the morphine keeping him settled and tummy time was enjoyed.

A few hours later I got to hold Oliver again, this was only the second time since he was born. Its funny because the nurses say "would you like to hold him", as if I would ever say no lol. Holding him was rare because of his constant infections or he was not in a good place with his meds ect. There was allot of factors that made it difficult to make this happen. Its also a difficult decision, if he is there comfortable then you don't want to disturb him, but also you want to just hold him, I let the nurses decide when was best. 

Next, look who's front page.